Every self-love journey is different, yet we all share a common goal. We are FIGHTING to love ourselves in a world that strikingly contradicts it.
I thought that this journey was near completion for me. While I knew that there would always be “those days”, I thought I loved myself enough. It’s only fair considering how far I’ve come since the ripe age of fourteen. Then again, life has changed. People have grown and the world attempts to adapt with it, no matter how many steps behind it is.
I guess my real story starts six months ago, when I randomly stumbled across the love of my life. (I promise to tell that another day, it’s a good one.) You see, it just so happens that I’m fat and he’s not. In the theme of honesty, I have to admit I didn’t understand it at first. I’ve preached for years that it doesn’t matter what someone looks like, but I still find myself staring at this beautiful man and wondering why he chose me. I’ve literally conditioned myself to be unworthy of love, even after it’s been thrown in my face.
I could write for days about all the negative and horrible commentary I’ve heard since we’ve started dating. I could tell you about my nights filled with tears and self-depreciation. However, I am fighting to change my life and in doing so I have to fight to change how this world thinks. Humans, who choose to de-value my relationship based on my body shape, will not alter me. I refuse to give into my fears that this earth is made up of bigotry and hatefulness. I already know that the world can be made of my childhood nightmares, but I also know it can be so much more.
The plus size community has shown me inspiration and thoughtfulness during my personal journey. I have been lifted on the shoulders of angels who do not know that they exist. I have learned to fight back in moments of self-doubt. I have been reminded that my actions, my words, and my life can make a difference.
I am angry that a handful of body-shaming people ever allowed me to question myself. I cannot express how much I hate predictability and this selfish hatred on the plus size community is as predictable as it gets. I don’t know about you guys, but I’d rather be a trendsetter, than a statistic.
Let’s blow their minds & let’s eat some cake while we’re at it.